Sunday, November 21, 2010

nick...emotional? what?

There are days that I get a bit homesick. I miss my friends, I miss the hell out of my family. I knew coming out to the east coast by myself wasn't going to be an easy transition, and some days are better than others. Some days start great but end differently, and its always interesting to see what turns the tide of my emotions.

Today went everywhere. I really like going to work. I enjoy my job, but if anything it gives me the ability to socialize. I have friends at work, and that's not to say I don't socialize outside of work on occasion, but I like certain people at work better. Unfortunately the social structure at work doesn't mean I go out with them often.

Tonight after work I went ice skating at Bryant Park, and looking up at the tall buildings that surrounded me while I skated outdoors without a coat on gave me a great feeling in my stomach. I was here. I'm doing this. I never thought I would do this. I skated for 45 minutes, dodging the slow skaters and trying not to be thrown off by the "advanced" skaters, who were mostly skating to impress members of the opposite sex. Since everyone is on a different skill level, there are individual skaters all over the place, and its fun to interact with absolute strangers when everyone is off guard because they can't keep balance on the slippery ice. Everyone is on equal playing field. No one is judging your style or accent or smile because they are far too focused on the task of not falling on their asses. It's surprising how much fun that can be.

Unwinding after a long (but rewarding) 5 days is quite the process. I just sat there for a good hour and a half. Ate some food. Watched lots of football. Tweeted. Talked with some people. Then downloaded Michael Buble's Christmas album for two bucks off Amazon. I love Christmas music, but this year its nearly a double edged sword. I never realized why I love Christmas music so much until now. It reminds me of everything associated with Christmas. Cards. Trees. Family. Gifts. Shopping. Snow. Fireplaces. Hot Chocolate. Love. Listening to the Christmas Song made me smile uncontrollably, but also created a feeling of loss at the same time. Christmas is going to be tough, but that's not to say its a complete loss. Tomorrow I fully expect to come home from Target with a small tree and some lights to decorate with. I will Skype with my family on Christmas morning. Who knows, maybe I'll even find a church here finally and step inside.

I'm extremely grateful for all of my friends who have taken time and money to come out here to visit me in New York. It was a real fear to think that I wouldn't see anyone while I was out here, but that hasn't been the case at all. I still have more visits coming, and don't worry Wisconsin, I'm coming for you sooner or later.

I miss hugs. Just one of those loving hugs you give someone when you are really happy to see them.

I'll stop with this nonsense. Have a great night, folks.

3 comments:

Patrick said...

This makes me sad. :(

Patrick

Unknown said...

I really want to fly out and give you one HUGE hug right now...
:(

~Mack

Unknown said...

I really want to fly out and give you one HUGE hug right now...
:(

~Mack